Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Obama Selects Joe “The Turk” Kedunk as National Bridge Oddsmaker

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

January 2010

Having had to cut back infrastructure expenditures for this year because of the continuing fiscal crisis, President Obama has selected an oddsmaker to give each American the odds on getting across the 225 bad bridges considered to be in the”kiss your butt good-bye”category. Also under consideration is taking book or odds on each crossing or survival insurance per crossing taken at the toll booths. 

Last Independent Engineering Firm Bought

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

March 2116

In an effort to catch the other Big 3 banks, Citicorp today bought ParsonsHNTBKimleyStanley the last of the independent firms. “This will consolidate our presence in the infrastructure market and allow us to design,build,own and collect on 31% of  the bridges and tollways in America.” said a spokeman.

Jack BocaLarga, the House Democratic minority leader, said 19 legislators have been working for the past 3 years on different legislation to stop this movement. Republican Yuri Move, Chairman of the new House Sub-committee on  Monopoly Practices, said that “It sounds like good old fashioned capitalism to me.”

Palin Fires State Engineer

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

4/10/09 Rumors are circulating that Gov. Palin has fired Moose Ovadahill, her former junior high school sweetheart, from his state engineer’s job. The governor was overheard responding to Moose’s assertion that the “Link to Somewhere Project” would take as long as 40 years or longer if the Governor doesn’t specify where the bridge is suppose to end. The Governor is rumored to have said that Moose never could finish anything. That is why they broke up.

Facility Managers Laugh at Improvement of Services Question

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Facility Managers Laugh at Improvement of Services Question
RESEARCH
In a 2007 research study involving private sector facilities managers buying behavior nationally, we identified the fact that 58% of the clients interviewed could not specifically describe what architects and engineers could do to improve their services over the next 3-5 years.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Many respondents considered the question a joke - a humorous question packed with irony.
Is the stress of trying to maintain internal productivity so great that the thinking about the future is a joke and that their laughing at it was stress relief - a way of not dealing with what they considered an ironic laughable matter? Are vendors laughing behind their backs? Is information overload beyond the joke stage? Is there a fundamental desire and will on the part of engineers and architects? The answer is probably a little bit of all the above.

Overcoming Skepticism
Historically, there has been significant success in getting clients to respond to sincere questions on long-term needs. In order to “mega leap” skepticism and not be laughed at, consider the following:
1. Ask about specific ideas that give the client clear and quantitative benefits.
2. Be ready to demonstrate very specific improvements to the client that relates to the above benefits. Then, research the acceptability of this approach carefully and with statistical accuracy.
3. Lead clients to their potential future by:
• Education - making certain the client understands that you understand the specifics of what they want and you can deliver.
• Partnering - joining the client as a team member to ensure “buy-in” and achieve “mega-leaps.”
• Visioning - begin working closely with the contact to develop a long-term vision that is exciting, motivational and promises significant rewards.
Your thoughts?

Improving Vendors by Making Due Diligence No Joke

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

How much does requiring all relevant past projects and an in-depth history of the suggested PMs change my existing RFP and other processes?

 

The owner simply expands the requirement for client lists with the rationale that references constitute a partial answer to being “responsible”.  Rather than ask for four or five references, I suggest that you ask for a complete project list over the last three to five years that is relevant to the type of planned project and a similar PM history.  There is nothing illegal or immoral in asking for a complete picture.

 If we are doing a good job now and our vendors are good, why do I need Selection process improvements? Unless all your vendors are 9s and 10s, your due diligence can now focus on the most important identified weaker criteria that checking complete past client references uncovers.  Rather than make four or five calls as required in most situations and generalizations, a diligence process will provide a menu for in-depth, quick and timesaving incisive.  Isn’t it worth taking the risk out of the potential slippage of a firm or assuring all parties and the public that due diligence was truly performed.

What Makes a Happy Partnership Laugh?

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008

I was asked once at the end of a speech, what made a happy partnership? Not meaning to make a joke or be humorous, I said ” Being happy is having supportive, thoughtful, focused partners in another city.”

Client Satisfaction - Contractors

Monday, June 2nd, 2008

I would be a great for me if I could treat my contractor like my doctor treats me, “I’m busy. Go back to that small room, take your pants off and I’ll be there.”