New Wit and Wisdom

January 2010

Having had to cut back infrastructure expenditures for this year because of the continuing fiscal crisis, President Obama has selected an oddsmaker to give each American the odds on getting across the 225 bad bridges considered to be in the”kiss your butt good-bye”category. Also under consideration is taking book or odds on each crossing or survival insurance per crossing taken at the toll booths. 

Everything in the design and construction industry is going to be automated in the future - like Emergency 911… But for the design and construction industry, 1011.

”Thank you for calling 1011. If there has been a violent project argument with blood between contractors dial 1. If your team member is late and missing more than a two hours, dial 2. If the owner is being an obstinate jerk and you want him removed, dial 3. If you have fallen more than 30 ft. and are totally immobilized, dial 4 and somebody will probably be with you within a short period of time.”

There must be more categories! I’m thinking…..

Gov. Palin launched an effort to build a bridge from Anchorage to Seattle. The Governor authorized the State Engineer to do a feasibility study for a “link to somewhere.”Palin said, ” If we can build it high enough we can use it as a moose, deer and caribou hunting platform and pay for the bridge with hunting license fees. When told by a reporter this would mean 38 million hunters per year, the Governor responded that once people tasted Alaskan caribou and moose meat , the sky would be the limit.

I was asked once at the end of a speech, what made a happy partnership? Not meaning to make a joke or be humorous, I said ” Being happy is having supportive, thoughtful, focused partners in another city.”